Support for Grieving Students

It can be helpful to understand what grief is, how it impacts us and ways to cope with it. Grief is our response to loss, particularly when someone we know dies. Often, we think of our emotional response to grief. However, it also impacts our bodies, brains, behavior and even social interactions. You may also have cultural factors that affect your grief.

Signs and symptoms of grief

Everyone experiences grief differently. However, common signs and symptoms of the grieving process include:

• Emotional symptoms: numbness, denial, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, yearning, anger, despair, guilt, resentment, regret, anxiety, worry
• Physical symptoms: headaches, stomachaches, body aches, changes to sleep, loss of appetite or overeating, fatigue, feeling generally sick and run down, weakness, back pain, indigestion or nausea
• Changes in thinking: slowed cognition, difficulty concentrating, difficulty thinking or remembering, difficulty making or avoiding decisions, and finding it more difficult to care about things you used to care about.
• Changes in behavior: social isolation and withdrawal, neglecting responsibilities, decrease in physical activity, decrease in self-care (showering, grooming, etc.), increased use of alcohol or other drugs.
  

Coping with your grief

Mourning the loss of a loved one can be one of the hardest things you will face. Grief reactions will come and go. For some, it will be for many months. For others, it may be even longer. Coping with your grief will take time and support. Be patient with yourself.

• Find your support network. Reach out to family and friends who will support you through this time. Support can come in many forms, from someone providing a listening ear to someone cooking dinner for you. Your support network wants to help you through this difficult time. It’s okay to let them help you. It can also be helpful to find support groups for people experiencing the same level of grief.
• Express how you feel. While it might be challenging to talk about your feelings, speaking with others will help you work through the grieving process. Your needs may be different throughout the grieving process, and it can be helpful to voice how they are changing.
• Take care of yourself. Grieving isn’t just emotional; it impacts your physical health, too. It’s important to make sure you’re eating well, getting enough rest, staying active, and checking in with your primary care physician if needed.
• Be patient. There is no definitive timeline for the grieving process, and it is different for everyone. Tasks that were basic before your loss may be tough now. It can take a long time to figure out how to cope with the loss of a loved one.
• Seek outside help. If your grief feels like it is too much for you to manage on your own and it is affecting your daily functioning over a long period, seek professional assistance to help you with the grieving process. Some therapists specialize in grief and loss. Asking for help is a sign of strength.

Remember: grief is a normal reaction to losing a loved one. It takes time to understand how the loss will impact you, and it’s different for everyone. While you’ll never stop missing your loved one, the pain will lessen over time.

Need more support?

• University Health & Counseling provides free counseling services to enrolled students and has therapists specializing in grief and loss.
• The Dean of Students Office provides information and support resources for students experiencing difficult situations, including loss of a loved one, academic concerns, financial concerns and more.
• GrieveWell is an Ann Arbor resource that provides support to adults in grief and to those around them.
• Psychology Today – Find a Grief Therapist offers a search tool to help you find a therapist who specializes in grief/loss.
• Psychology Today – Find a Grief Support Group has a search tool to find a grief support group in your area.
• Read Unpacking Grief: The Ball & The Box Analogy